I conducted a study of over 150 children in the age band of 3 to 14 years (primarily in metros) posting following questions to the parents (esp. mothers):

  1. What are the things that your child truly loves about online learning?
  2. What are the things s/he doesn’t like about online learning?
  3. What are the things that your child misses about the school?
  4. As a parent what do you think has been an impact on learning in this new way of schooling?
  5. What impact it had on the mother’s workload?

I found that what is working for these kids, the challenges that they are facing and the concerns of the parents have certain commonalities within the bracket of 3 to 6 years, 6years to 10years and 11years onwards. However while I enlist them, don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t fit in for your child. Every child is different and his needs could be different. For the sake of convenience, I am going to refer to child as a “He”. Please feel free to take it as a “She” if it is applicable for you (like it does for me with two daughters). Further the outcome of your child could be different based on:

  • School: Based on the school the activities in teaching, number of hours each day, teacher’s ability to engage from behind the screen and comfort with technology, number of children in each batch can differ.
  • Home: Devices that the child is using to access the teaching and environment within the family (in terms of connect with parents)
  • Before lockdown: Outlook towards academics and degree of self-drive/initiation before the lockdown period

Before we delve deep into the findings, one aspect that we must keep in mind is — How we all got started on this online teaching mode? The question for all of us is ‘Is this curriculum and approach designed with a forethought and due diligence?’. The answer is NO. We need to remember that neither school teachers nor the curriculum was prepared for online mode of teaching. People have been caught off guard and the traditional way of imparting knowledge has been repackaged in the online mode of teaching albeit with slides, videos and multiple choice questions. Many children are found to slip out of the grind of learning in this mode especially in the age group of below 10 years. Trust me if your 12+ years old bright child is now majorly struggling to have a hold with online classes, I would say, the child was facing unexplored and unrecognized challenges in the traditional set up as well. It is just that owing to other balancing activities around, the symptoms stayed managed and the gaps are showing up now. In a way it is good as it enables you to address them.

Coming to an ideal way of online mode of teaching is one that is highly interactive on visuals and is self paced. The complexity of flow is graded and gradually increases based on the current level of the child and responses of the child in a highly individualized manner. See how the online games have got it so beautifully right that your child can spend hours on without cribbing!!

Further in a traditional way, teacher may sense a disappointed student (who didn’t get a chance to reply or got the answer wrong) and may offer more eye contact or change the seating arrangement to make it more personalized for the child, or the bench-mate of the child may make him feel better. Or something else in the class (away from the teacher) catches his attention and he feels better. To a large extent all that is missing in this rushed package of online teaching.

Add to it the practical challenges of life. As a parent there is a reason why most of the parents of over 3 years old send their children away to a school set up instead of resorting to home-schooling.

  • Social bonding
  • Developing adaptability & problem solving in a safe environment while being away from the keen protective eyes of parents
  • Age appropriate teaching by professionals who are trained to do it in a child friendly manner
  • A platform for extracurricular activities under one roof that may become difficult for a parent to provide at home.
  • Other factors like a natural routine of the day and free time for parents to indulge in activities that can help them be their more energized self (economically or otherwise).

Now coming to the impact and how a parent can better handle the new normal of online mode of teaching, let’s start with children in the age group of 3 to 6 years.


  • Interaction with teachers and classmates
  • Visual based teaching with colorful videos and Story telling
  • Learn in comfortable environment with teacher’s personal touch


  • He doesn’t like writing (homework)
  • He would just move away or play around without listening to the teacher
  • He is not very fond of the online classes and feels bored.
  • He is kept in mute and can barely share with teacher their thoughts or queries.


  • Playing with friends and play ground
  • Going in school bus


  • He is not showing the level of involvement that few other kids are showing.
  • My 3 years old child doesn’t sit even once for his online classes even though teachers are just telling him stories or making them do fun activities.
  • He doesn’t get a chance to speak in the class. Has to wait for his turn. Doesn’t like too long classes.
  • Academics is running at extremely fast pace and we are lagging behind.
  • This is the first time my child is going to school. We converse in mother tongue at home. The new language (English) is difficult for my child to understand.
  • He just started with first standard. Suddenly there is a load of three languages. I am afraid if I don’t keep the pace, it will be difficult later for my son.
  • Mother of 5 shared that the workload has increased a lot with daily activities, projects and regular work of the school with the child.
  • As a “work from home” parent, it is difficult for me to cope with extended work hours now. I feel drained sitting with him all throughout, teaching him how to do and what to do.
  • With loaded expectations, even homemakers have reported to have difficulty in managing and feeling tremendous mental stress and feeling annoyed with the whole system!
  • The increased screen time has impacted his health. My child seems to be hyper active during the rest of the day.

A mother of two 4 years old kids shared that I was feeling like as if I am the teacher. I have stopped the online classes for my children and home schooling. They enjoy more now as I can teach based on their mood and my convenience.

Now let’s see what is going on here. If we look at this age group of 3 to 6 years, they are fidgety and sensory wise highly distracted, after all they are still making sense of the wide world using all their senses. They stick on with an app better when they have an interactive session say find a dog in a picture or find letter A in this picture. A teacher behind the screen asking them a question and expecting the child to have enough patience to wait — You will get a chance to speak or maybe not get a chance at all– is too much to expect when they are biologically still building self-regulation and self control skills. They are cause and effect driven (touch and go for that is why they love the mobiles so much, it gives them an instant reward!!). It is very difficult for them to show same understanding of social cues in a screen mode that they seem to follow in real life. So a benevolent look by a teacher in classroom premises works better than the two dimensional face of the teacher coming to them behind a screen. Overall it’s unreasonable to expect the child to follow everything that is being shown in the screen.
1. Bigger screen. Think of a wider screen like a laptop with good speakers. Expecting them to sit with a headset is a sad state of affairs for these kids are still figuring out their surroundings through touches and movements. Best is if we can connect it to a TV screen, with some crayons, papers and books around that the child really loves.

2. Co watching. If you are a homemaker, it helps if you are also co watching without too much of intervention. This is more so that you know what concepts have been covered and later in the day you can involve that in your day to day conversations with the child. Like if you know that a count of 11 to 15 has been covered today, while peeling the peas you can take help from the child to count the peas. Children of this age learn the best by applying the knowledge (this in a way is applicable to all the ages).

3. Time span per class. It shouldn’t be more than 20 to 30 minutes of active learning for this age. Coordinate with school if they are having one hour long classes (screen time) at a stretch (for it is not advisable for this age group). Quote the findings by “Indian academy of pediatrics” and “American academy of pediatrics” on screen time for younger children. Many schools have incorporated suggestions given by parents, like I said they are also trying to figure it out. Give the feedback to the school and insist on breaks between two classes.

However as a parent, don’t be too hard on yourself if you are not in a position to necessarily sit with the child. Based on the schedule of the family, if you need to attend to the office or some other important chores, feel free to do that. Practical tips are:
– Letting the child just listen to what is being said by the teacher. Wherever something in the screen catches his attention, he is bound to learn there.
– You can request the school to record the session so that you and your child can leisurely watch it later, even pause to have it flow at the pace of the child.
– One good thing about online learning is, it could set up a regular routine for the child and thereby a sense of safety, not that you necessarily need to do online based learning at this stage to have a high level routine for your child. You could just get the list of activities from the school that is being done each day and do it with the child based on a routine that suits the family (remember children are flexible and once schools open can quickly adapt to the older routine again).
– Or simply buying books of the class and doing it at the pace of the child. Important is “WHAT” part of the learning, we can show more flexibility on “HOW” part at this stage. Maybe having longer seating on weekend (when you also have more time) than on a week day can work better for some families.

Anxious or guilty parents affect the confidence of the child to be able to handle the situation. Parents should let go of the guilt that they are not being the perfect ‘Teachers’ for their child in his academics. Find out a solution that works best for the family for now. Sooner or later school will find their way to change their programs to better suit the online mode of imparting knowledge or switch back to offline mode, or else some kind of hybrid. We may be myopic in our definition of learning at this stage when we limit learning to academic progress alone. Look for learning opportunities in real world like gossiping with the child on what is going on in the cooking, joining the child in his pretend plays, bringing out your observations on color mixing et al. This paves a way to develop a “Love for Learning”. Even while playing board games, turn-taking, how to take a loss in the right spirit, wrapping up toys, delayed gratification (for those I want snacks/toys right now) or better bond between siblings are all part of learning for this age.

* Comparison. Comparing your child with another bright eyed child who is getting all the answers right is never going to motivate your child in the long run. Well, here we have more than 30 children (some going as much as 100 children) on the screen and many vying for teacher’s attention. And there sits your child, just staring at the screen. Well, let the child be the way he is. Child may learn even by listening to others. This is not a mode to teach initiation or leadership skills. This is a stage to simply instill a LOVE for LEARNING into the child. So that he grows up with a positive sense towards structured learning in a self driven mode (and self paced at this stage if we can bring it in some way). You should be fine if your child doesn’t complete the whole copying of spelling of 10, twenty times. If the child can identify, say the spellings and write it a few times, the purpose is served. Schools have certain way of operating in a one-to-many mode, and as a parent you may want to adopt different strategy when you are most of the times one to one or max one to two in today’s times! If you are stressful, the only thing that the child learns is “THIS IS NOT FUN“. A balance is important here for this age.
* Push your child on the face of the teacher. Your child raised a hand and the teacher didn’t see him and he sits back disappointed. Well, at this age, all that the child needs is an attention for his small victories, so feel free to listen to the child’s answer and praise him unconditionally for the effort (immaterial of correctness or wrongness of the answer), pat him and correct him. He will be fine.
* Screen time. You should count this time as a screen time as well for this age. That means we need to be sensitive on overall time that the child is spending on screens (including entertainment). Children of this age need to interact with the real world for a balanced growth both cognitively and to develop greater threshold of frustration tolerance….for it takes much more patience to make a lego brick house in physical world than in a screen based device. Children at this age don’t have a sense of time and if screen based devices are projected as a filler or a quick fix for a I-AM-GETTING-BORED, it is bound to impact the overall attention span and distractibility of the child, and lead to bigger tantrums when the consistency of sometimes-given and sometimes-not-given is exhibited based on the level of guilt of the parent. Screen time should ideally be time bound and should be part of the routine like say 20 mins after lunch or after coming back from playing. Avoid putting a practice of starting the day of the child with an entertainment based screen time.
* Being in a rush to complete the projects on child’s behalf or feeling pressurized to post in school whatsup group. Offer the project with tools (say coloring of a fish) to the child and some high level guidance and then let the child do in his own free-wheel thinking the way he wishes to carry it out. Don’t forget, it is the stage to build a LOVE FOR LEARNING and not to reach to an adult-defined perfection in every activity. Confidently upload that as homework whisking away any regret-Oh my child didn’t do the best. This is first brick in the development of your child and every year when he would color the same fish, it is going to come in differently based on the maturity of the child. Truly believe in that- THE CHILD HAS GROWING TO DO FOR MANY YEARS TO COME. More he learns to do things in a self driven manner at this stage, the better equipped he would be to take wiser decisions and handle more complex situations later.
* Online tuition at this stage should be avoided unless you can do it the way the suggestions are given for online classes of school above and if it is within a total of 2–3 hours of screen time spread across the day. Parents commit higher stakes in tuitions and sometimes that pressure could rub in to the child thereby making learning seem like a stressful event.

Finally don’t worry about whether the child would be able to adjust to the older routine in the school later. Children of this age are quite adaptable and within two weeks or so would set in the new routine.

Now let’s touch upon older set of children in the age group of 6 to 10 years.

The parents of this age group have shown highest degree of stress and concerns in the survey.


  • He enjoys the fact that he can operate things independently on a laptop. New learning Apps, watching videos for understanding, being able to view friends, changing dp, background settings, solving assignment/test online or uploading homework.
  • He just loves the concept of going to school online. Looks like it brings a sense of routine to him. Just like work from home it is like school from home for him. He is eager about the online sessions.
  • My child feels it just like school. In our case I’m sitting next to her so she feels more comfortable. Child is in a safe environment in given situation.
  • My son enjoys the online class. I have provided big screen desktop, good speakers and headphone.


  • He feels extremely irritated when he is disconnected or is not able to do activities quickly when others are able to do.
  • He gets bored as other kids keep asking for clarification. So it’s hard to make him stay focused. His mind keeps wandering around and fidgeting.
  • Teacher is not able to see what she is doing in the notebook and sometimes when she has doubt, she is not able to get teacher’s attention even after raising hand.


  • Going in school bus
  • Meeting Friends and breaks with kids in school
  • Misses meeting teachers
  • Extracurricular activities, Musical instruments and Physical education in field
  • Missing the birthday sweets being distributed in the class!!


  • Tasks asked to be done during the class in a stipulated time which my son more often cannot complete and feels a little disappointed.
  • They have one day as offline studies (asynchronous classes) but for that also they have to work on laptop and need parents’ assistance. The home work given sometimes involves lot of writing which my child does not enjoy. Writing skills are badly affected.
  • A teacher can’t actually teach them one on one which might be possible in normal settings.
  • Kids listen 100% to teachers, so difficult for us to teach if it is a bit different from teachers’ way.
  • My child doesn’t get an opportunity to speak. Whereas other kids break the online rules, un-mute and talk.
  • It is very difficult particularly for working mothers. The kids need lot of help for art and craft, and we struggle to give time. I can’t sit with him and do art and craft and attend meetings at the same time.
  • Screen time is increased. We miss the fun of conventional learning, mingling with children and teachers.
  • We are concerned about health of his eyes and social learning in real world. We had put conscious effort to keep our child away from computer and mobile but now it’s no longer so. Eyes are getting impacted as classes are for more than 3–4 hours every day. Online classes are okay once a while but every day is not good.
  • Classes need to be more of activity based than reading from text…as most teachers are not able to adopt the new way of teaching.
  • They get good marks so they feel they are doing well as there are multiple choice questions and answers unlike usual exam. That is sometimes just guess work.
  • Mother’s workload is increased. In siblings, more time is going on, on one particular child (younger or older) and feeling unable to give enough time to the other child.
  • Further the whole act of remembering the timings of each class of the child and reminding her to attend it is an overload. I don’t follow up on the homework though as 2 hours screen time I feel is more than enough. The homework is also coming on screen and adds on to the screen time for the child then.
  • Mother has to chase the child to follow class of schedule. During the class child orders water and food. Mother has to attend all the classes as child may not hear or note all the instructions given by teacher. Children are not apt at following teachers online. A mother acting as a teacher for academics has added additional workload.
  • I feel it’s not thorough learning happening. It is just like brushing concepts. Especially understanding of subjects like mathematics is a challenge. Teacher doesn’t use white board most of time. My child finds difficult to understand Maths when taught verbally.
  • My workload is the same, but keeping the child sane is more challenging in this Covid times which gets stressful for me.

This is the age where the children start appreciating being connected to their friends and teachers. They also enjoy being able to operate new devices. The challenge here would be the speed of flow by the teacher and ability of the child to stay with the teacher’s speed. These kids would need reminders for their classes, however as long as they are logging in and sitting through, as a parent you should be fine. Please do not be too much around the child in terms of checking on every line that the teacher said and every question that the teacher asked. Let’s keep the pressure low on the children in terms of –You are being watched.

Again the basic rule stays the same, try to have a wider screen and good speakers for the child instead of a headset and phone. We are just increasing the chances of the child to pay more attention. Sometimes just sitting in the background giving child the feeling of being in it together, praising more on what is going on the screen and less on if the child is paying attention or not. This is the middle stage of development of self driven skills in the child. Support it with high level guidance.

If you really want to keep a tab (high level), then there are couple of things that you can do (not necessarily during the lockdown period alone, but otherwise also)

  • Have a routine of sitting with the child later (ideally not within two hours of the online classes to give the child a mental break from the classes).
  • For working parents I wouldn’t suggest spending the few hours that you get with the child to spend on going over what the child learnt. Focus more on developing a bond, talking with the child, having some jokes, co-reading non academic books, doing some mutually enjoyable activities together like listening to music or watching favorite series. Few parents have joined dance classes together with their child or are following a yoga routine or simply giving freedom to the child to take baby steps towards cooking/baking things.
  • If you have paucity of time during the week, you can think of having a routine of sitting over academics on weekends (ideally in the time between breakfast and lunch to keep the later half for entertainment related activities). The main aim is to appreciate the child on what he did or can do, and support the child on what he cannot do. It should never be judgmental in nature.


  • Worry about losing out on practice of writing. Sometimes the homework given by schools has been reported to be too much and parent feel like being the teacher of the child in this mode. If you have a printer, try printing out the paper for the child to work upon. Easier on you, easier on the child. Else, just have the homework open in front of the child and let him finish while you do your work. Avoid getting into micro level of the quality of the work. As soon as schools open the physical manner, children (being adaptable) are bound to fall back in older routine. Those already having challenges before in learning would continue showing the same in this mode (or rather may get exacerbated as the online mode of learning further alienated them from being in here and now). Differentiate between what behavior (good, bad and ugly) was always there and what is new and act accordingly.
  • Prompting the child to answer for a question that the teacher asked. Often this age group gets influenced by the peers and finds it hard to think the moment another child answers (wrong or right). With traditional way been extrapolated in the online teaching without realizing the challenges therein, teachers adopt similar technique of asking questions and children rushing in to start saying the answers. Often some children may not have understood the question, may still be processing the question or are simply not hand-raisers by nature…the beauty that online mode of learning offers i..e a learning driven at the speed of the individual is lost because the current curriculum was not designed for this mode. Understand these pitfalls and let the pressure be cooled on the child to keep the fun in learning going. Let the child decide whether he wants to answer or not. Remember you have a time outside the academic hours to follow up. Later you can ask the child,” I noticed that you knew the answer but you didn’t raise your hand. I am wondering what’s going on”. You may be surprised at the maturity of the thoughts that the child may show here. While acting in the heat of the moment, we often undermine the child’s capabilities (in an age appropriate manner) to think and decide for himself.

Finally a different dimension gets added for older children say 11 years onwards.


A big factor here is how was the child academically before the lockdown, often it acts like a predictor of a behavior now.

  • She doesn’t need to get up early for the school and it is only for 2.5–3 hrs. This way she is getting more time to play at home.
  • Comfortable surrounding, learn from anywhere.
  • Being able to chat and connect with their teachers and peers
  • Teachers tend to explain more interactively through colorful PPT, strategy to repeat things many times helps. Educational, fun videos. Assignments are not just from the book. Classes are fun.
  • In a way parents are much more aware about the teaching as they can see the lectures along with the child.


  • Thinks that there is too much of indoor learning. Gets bored sometimes.
  • Connection going again and again. Voice cracking sometimes or inaudible.
  • Doubts not getting cleared properly
  • Meetings locked even when the child is late for few minutes.


  • Having fun with friends
  • PT and Sports


  • Too much of screen time. Not just school but tuitions are also online. They have already started complaining about backache and neck pain. On top of that they need some time for playing which again is on mobile.
  • It depends on parent to parent. Online classes are not something that I would suggest for kids of his age…I don’t think my son is paying proper attention.
  • Sometimes I have found my child switching from online school to online games. I need to monitor her which adds on to my burden.
  • Seriousness is a concern. Kids seem to be losing interest in studies. I have to shout at my child to concentrate on what madam is saying.
  • My work load has increased…whole day either I am cooking or arranging things for kids…earlier I had some ME time when kids were in school…not liking the change at all.

A child who had learned to take self initiation before the lockdown has higher likelihood of showing a self initiation in the areas of keeping a track of the number of classes, the assignments and the timings of the classes now. Allow the child some breather to be connected with his friends outside the class hours through online ludo or video chats. I had 13–14 years old getting a feel of watching movies together through zoom or playing pictionary online. Some children also do homework together. It keeps the kinship going for this age something that they really crave for as they step into adolescence and are missing at this moment.

Placing a few rules here would reduce a part of pressure on you as well as help these children to better balance their day:

  • Have some overall rules like routine being designed in a manner that a bath is fitted in before the classes start. Primarily we are trying to have predictability and a safety of sameness between old times and the current lockdown.
  • Have more or less similar timings of sleep. See if the child is getting enough sleep as per their age and individual requirement. Often enamored with gadgets children may forgo sleep that can affect their attention, focus, emotional stability and overall growth, as well as set a wrong precedent of discipline around device usage.
  • As much as possible avoid feeding the child during the classes. Insist on squeezing food time between the classes and if possible to have food with the child to provide that social touch and exchange of –What is going on at your end and at the child’s end. If you notice something interesting in the class, mention that during these moments of togetherness.
  • Try to have a cut off for social time with friends. Facing the smugness of home environment and the ease of connectivity, we forget that online life should ideally mimic real life. When in real life our friends do not come home late in night on daily basis, similarly in online life insist on having a cut off for the child (say one or two hours before sleep time or whatever suits the family). Let the child feel the need to explore other areas beyond the easy and quick rewards that gadgets give. Other activities around keep the life of the child enriched.
  • This age is spending most amount of time online, owing to the academic and tuition pressures, and owing to their need to stay connected with their friends. Children who were addicted to gadgets before lockdown may go more into shell now. Avoid falling in the trap of using lockdown as a reason for addiction. Recognizing this helps to take steps that may in any case be necessary. Right from arranging the bed, doing self hygiene routine, eating (4–5 times in a day), assigned activities of house hold chores like brooming/mopping or cleaning utensils, letting them take initiation in cooking, arranging wardrobes, hanging their own clothes out et al. After all this is also a stage towards full adulthood. Being together for longer hours can actually help to bring better behavioral practices and instilling adaptability, flexibility and frustration tolerance, skills that would help the child in the long stead. Avoid having major meals of the day in bed or while being on a gadget. This keeps the feeling of togetherness going or brings the required break for the child.
  • If you feel safe have some kind of outdoors for the child closer to sunrise or sun set, say a walk around the society premises during non-peak hours. The changing colors of the sky, the freshness of the air and simply being closer to the nature is said to help human beings in, what we call staying SANE!

No matter what the age of the child is, a child can always do with lots of physical hugs, touches, kind encouraging words. Every time you cross the child, try to put your hand on him with a pat (wow, you are holding on to yourself nicely). Sometimes the child may just come to you and snuggle, looking lost (or feeling deprived). Provide the support by just being there. Even when you work on your laptop, let the child be in your lap for as long as he wishes to be. If the child reminisces in olden days, let him indulge for even indulgence is said to trigger the happiness hormone. Child is looking for your support not sympathy or solutions at that time. You can increase the vocabulary of the child by voicing what is going on-

Oh, My little child is feeling under the weather.

You seem to be feeling blue.

I noticed you have been looking thoughtful since your classes ended, what is going on.

Generally with the day ending, often this feeling goes away. It is normal to feel empty and little low sometimes especially while recollecting old days of outdoors and social bonding.

Offer help when the child comes to you with his problem like I noticed that you seem to be getting difficulty in learning multiplication, shall we sit together to work on it? Or maybe somebody else in the family like older sibling or a cousin remotely can help. Take it as a problem to be solved and work collaboratively with the child. Often children are not reading enough what is given in the school book banking upon the teacher to spoon feed everything. Make suggestions like going through the chapter start to end before coming up with questions to you. Convey to the child that the authors who have written the book have designed the complexity in a gradual fashion. When the finds he is able to find many of his answers in the book itself, he gets confidence to be able to understand things on his own.

Finally the whole experience is beautifully summed up by a parent from Bangalore of two children, 6 years old son and 3 years old daughter:

Learning @ home has been tremendous since they are pretty much at home. Kids showing interest in chores and quality family time is making them well equipped with life skills. I am happy with the progress made on online classes front too. Though not the perfect method under the given situation it is the best that can be done.

Adapting to situation took a little while but at the end routine is now established. I feel I would just leave to school all the learning if not for this situation and so this is more collaborative that way. With working parents it is a challenge sometimes to do justice though.

Many parents echoed- We somehow manage. Yes it’s safe and the only way to go in a situation like this.

This may not be such a bad line for in our quest of perfection, let us remember to collect the little moments of joys brought in by everybody being under the same roof.

A gist of the tips shared by me on this topic with @prachijatania, former journalist and content producer (IGTV) could be helpful as well.

Feel free to add your experiences and concerns here.





She is a Child Behavior Specialist at pediatric clinics in Mumbai. She specializes in Child Behavior and Development.

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Kiran Tevtiya

Kiran Tevtiya

She is a Child Behavior Specialist at pediatric clinics in Mumbai. She specializes in Child Behavior and Development.

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